The art of flirting

From the perspective of a 5 year old little boy.

There are 4 basic steps to this long lost art. Follow these simple steps and you to can have a passing glance turn into a meaningful relationship. This method has stood the test of time. It dates back to the caveman.

Step 1. Make contact. Talk to your intended. A lot. Like if you thought you were talking a lot, amp it up. Even if it gets you in trouble with the authority figures.

Step 2. Show your intended you have a bad boy side (obviously this is from the perspective of said "bad boy"). Show her you are not all unicorns and rainbows. Get in trouble. Lots of it. LOADS of it. Especially with authority. Fight against the establishment. Embrace your reprimands.

Step 3. Now is the time to show her not only do you have a wicked bad side but a gentle one too. Throw a few good boy days around. Let her start to trust you. This will start to establish trust.

Step 4. When all of the above does not work. Throw a rock at her.


Trust me, do these simple steps and you will see results. Just ask Porter.